So I shelled out for the Susanne Kaufmann Rejuvenating Eye Cream, hoping it would turn my under-eyes into the bright, smooth canvases of my pre-teen years—before the crushing weight of adult responsibilities and stress-induced scrolling gifted me with dark circles and fine lines. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. But let’s break it down.

The Quick and Dirty Summary

Packaging: Plastic pump top tube. Not cheap plastic, definitely won’t crack in your travel bag.

Texture: Creamy. But sticky. Like Elmer’s glue before it dries.

Smell: Smells like nothing. Expensive nothingness.

Price: $185 per 15ml. WT actual F.

Ingredients: Aqua (Water), Glycerin, Polyglyceryl-3 Polyricinoleate, Caprylyl Caprylate/caprate, Alcohol Denat., Propylheptyl Caprylate, Squalane, Cetyl Ricinoleate, Sorbitan Sesquioleate, Octyldodecanol, Cera Alba, Glyceryl Caprate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Brassica Oleracea Italica (Broccoli) Seed Oil, Ectoin, Limnanthes Alba (Meadowfoam) Seed Oil, Oleic/linoleic/linolenic Polyglycerides, Zinc Sulfate, Adansonia Digitata Pulp Extract, Sambucus Nigra Fruit Extract, Echium Plantagineum Seed Oil, Rosa Canina Seed Extract, Bisabolol, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Magnolia Officinalis Bark Extract, Sericin, Vigna Aconitifolia Seed Extract, Cardiospermum Halicacabum Flower/leaf/vine Extract, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract, Serine, Urea, Tocopherol, Ubiquinone, Magnesium Stearate, Saccharide Isomerate, Pullulan, Pentylene Glycol, Lactic Acid, Sodium Lactate, Sorbitol, Maltodextrin, Citric Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Citrate, Sodium Benzoate, Aluminum Tristearate, Xanthan Gum, Allantoin, Parfum.

Claims: Targets the key signs of ageing. Smooths fine lines, crow’s feet & wrinkles. Promotes collagen production

Susanne Kaufmann

The Hype:

This little jar of goop claims to be the Rolls-Royce of eye creams. It’s supposed to hydrate, smooth out fine lines, and reduce puffiness. With ingredients like moth bean extract (a.k.a. Vigna Aconitifolia Seed Extract, a.k.a whatever the hell that is) and silk protein (sericin), it’s marketed as the skincare equivalent of wrapping your under-eyes in a luxury cashmere sweater.

The Application Experience:

Ah, yes. Let me take a tiny, microscopic amount of this precious cream because it’s so damn expensive I’m rationing it like it’s WWII and I’m down to my last butter coupon. And then… I attempt to spread it under my eyes.

Here’s where we hit our first snag: This stuff is sticky. Like, unexpectedly sticky. It doesn’t glide on like you’d want an eye cream to do. Instead, it feels like trying to spread cold honey on a piece of delicate, tear-prone tissue paper. You’re patting it around, feeling like you’re one dab away from creating more wrinkles rather than smoothing any out.

But once it’s finally on and absorbed, it’s definitely moisturizing. I can’t deny that. My under-eyes look less dry and slightly plumper, like they’ve been through a crash course in hydration. But that immediate sticky application? Not my favorite.

Texture shot.

The Pros:

1. Moisturizes Like a Champ.

The hydration is real. My under-eyes do feel softer, and the fine lines are a little less visible after slathering this on.

2. Fancy Ingredient List.

Silk proteins, baobab pulp, and the moth bean extract they’ve been hyping. You know, all the things you can’t pronounce but make you feel bougie as hell.

3. Makes You Feel Like You’re Better Than Everyone Else.

Look, sometimes we buy luxury products because we think they’ll change our lives. But mostly, we buy them because we want to look at that cute little jar and think, “I’m someone who invests in high-end skincare. I have my life together.”

The Cons:

1. It’s Sticky and Hard to Spread.

If I’m paying this much for an eye cream, I want it to glide on like a dream, not feel like I’m putting Elmer’s Glue under my eyes.

2. It’s Freaking Expensive.

This eye cream costs more than a night out at a Michelin-starred restaurant. For the price, I was expecting at least a mini facelift, or maybe a tiny choir of angels singing praises when I open the jar. But no, it’s just me, patting it on in my bathroom, wondering why I make these decisions.

3. Not a Game-Changer.

It’s nice. It’s moisturizing. But it didn’t make me look like I’ve had 12 hours of sleep every night for the past decade. And if I’m spending this much, I want to look like I’m living a stress-free life in a tiny coastal Italian village, not like I’ve been up late doom-scrolling.

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Final Verdict:

Do I like it? Sure. Do I love it? No. This is the skincare equivalent of a first date where the person is perfectly fine, but you’re not exactly dying to see them again. It’s a solid eye cream that does the job, but the sticky application and the jaw-dropping price tag mean it’s a one-and-done purchase for me. I’ll use up every last drop (because waste not, want not), but I won’t be dropping another $185 for round two.

So unless you’re swimming in disposable income or just really enjoy the novelty of telling people you use a $185 eye cream, I’d say save your money for something more life-changing—like, I don’t know, paying off your student loans, dancing in New York with no shoes, or buying a ticket to Italy so you can fake the well-rested glow in person.

Still Want to Buy It?

Susanne Kaufmann

Saks Fifth Ave.

Revolve

*Disclosure: I bought this with my own moo-lah.

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