Back in July 2017, my man and I took a trip to the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria, BC. And look—I’m ashamed to admit how long it took me to write about it. Because this place? Delightful. Absolutely, gloriously delightful.
You know what wasn’t delightful? Realizing mid-selfie that the full name of the museum didn’t fit in the frame. That’s a lot of syllables, y’all.
Let’s Start With a Confession
I’m not what you’d call a museum scholar. My approach is more along the lines of:
• Step 1: See shiny things.
• Step 2: Gasp.
• Step 3: Wander off.
• Step 4: Distract others.
Meanwhile, my husband (who has the patience and attention span of an actual adult) reads every single placard like he’s prepping for a pop quiz. I, on the other hand, regress into a toddler with the attention span of a caffeinated goldfish.
So here’s a photographic journey through the eyes of someone who meant well but ended up yelling “Run!” in front of a woolly mammoth.
First Stop: The Mammoth Incident
The Royal BC Museum has these things called “selfie spots” which, in my humble opinion, should be legally required in all museums worldwide. Obviously, I chose the woolly mammoth one. Less obviously, I panicked and blurted out “RUN!” like we were in a Jurassic Park sequel. No regrets.
BTW, this mammoth is part of the Natural History Gallery, which is an immersive walk-through exhibit showcasing Ice Age BC. Yes, it’s meant to teach you about glacial eras. No, I did not absorb any of that.
Somewhere in the Maritime Exhibit, I Yelled “PIRATES!”
We then stumbled into a submarine-ship-thing?!—like, a real one. Or maybe a replica. Honestly, I didn’t read the sign, but I did yell “Yo ho ho!” while dramatically demanding rum. (None appeared.)
This was likely part of the Becoming BC exhibit, which explores the province’s human history—indigenous cultures, early explorers, fur traders, and gold rushers. But sure, let’s pretend pirates were involved because I was wearing a fabulous dress and really committing to the bit.
Forest Dioramas and Partner Shenanigans
At some point, I insisted my husband interact with a fake deer in a glassed-in forest scene. I was convinced he could Harry-Potter the whole thing to life. He could not. But 10/10 for patience and deadpan looks of disappointment.
Still, the Forests exhibit is chef’s kiss—lush dioramas, lifelike animals, and more opportunities for awkward photo ops than your average state park. I was drenched in pretend hiker sweat and ready to pretend we were on a magical woodland adventure. Hallways and carpeted museum floors count as trails, right?
Glowing Sea Lion = Peak Distraction
Now, let’s talk about the sea lion. For reasons I still don’t understand, it glowed in every photo. I was awestruck. Enchanted. Ready to adopt it.
Meanwhile, my husband—at this point functioning solely as the responsible adult wrangling his unruly toddler partner—gently tried to steer me back toward the exhibits.
No luck. I immediately moved on to…
“Babe, Pretend You’re Godzilla”
There was a miniature model town in one of the exhibits, and I begged him to stomp his foot and pose like Godzilla. His response?
“…No. Just… just no.”
Marriage material, y’all. The restraint on this man is heroic.
Totem Poles & My “Ah-Ha” Moment
At long last, something genuinely held my attention: the First Peoples Gallery and its breathtaking collection of totem poles. There are dozens of them, towering and intricate, both inside the museum and just outside on the grounds.
It honestly felt like walking through a sacred forest. I stopped being silly for half a second and actually—actually—wanted to learn more.
That moment lasted until I got hungry. Which is how you know I’m mentally four years old. Education, enchantment, and then a snack break.
TL;DR
The Royal BC Museum is genuinely incredible. It’s one of Canada’s top cultural institutions, with world-class exhibits on natural history, Indigenous cultures, and the development of British Columbia. Even if you’re a distracted dork like me, you’ll find something to love—whether it’s glowing sea lions, selfie spots, or your long-suffering husband’s reaction to your Godzilla fantasies.
If you’re in Victoria, don’t skip it. Just… maybe bring snacks for the four-year-old in your relationship.
*This is a rewrite of a previous post.
