Dear New York City, My first impression of you was that you were exactly like the movies said you were: full of loud people who communicated by yelling and honking at each other. You also had beautiful people with all the designer brands on their arm and were the center of the universe. But, that’s only the surface. You’re not any of that really. You’re more of a surprise than an expectation. I will say you’re city stinks. No, it literally reeks of horse manure and piss. Then again, your public restrooms actually had urine on the floors. I guess
Author: Kristen Grace
Beauty junkie, food obsessed, and constant wanderer.
Astronaut Ice Cream Sandwich or a Dehydrated Mess?
I had an astronaut ice cream sandwich. How could I not? It was freeze-dried, ready-to-eat space food after all! When I bit into it, my first thought was that it tasted like marshmallow bites from a stale box of Lucky Charms cereal. Then it does this weird thing. It turns gloppy and gets really warm in the mouth. It’s basically really sweet creamy soup. I tasted no ice cream flavors. Sad face.
An Open Letter to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Dear Rehoboth Beach, Thank you for being defiant and proving the forecast wrong. I wanted a day at the beach and that is exactly what I got. Not one lick of thunder! Thank god! Furthermore, YOU HAD A BREEZE to go with your heat. You still burned me despite reapplying my sunscreen twice in a four hour timespan which just seems wicked of you… but I get it. You’re the beach and I’m sickly white. It wouldn’t be right if I left with a tan. By the way, you look like a town from another era that ignored all the
An Open Letter to Washington DC
Dear Washington DC, I’m writing to tell you that your weather sucks. It almost killed me. I spent three days drowning in my own sweat and no amount of deodorant could cover the eventual body odor that would overwhelm my senses and those around me. Then you kinda pulled a dick move. Just when everyone had peeled off their last bit of sweat soaked outer layers, you opened up the skies and rained. And I mean RAINED. People were running into the Smithsonian to buy five dollar plastic rain ponchos. Luckily for you, my beloved and I hail from the