Friends, foes, and festive fiends: it’s me, your chaotic neutral beauty hoarder, crawling out from the wreckage of Christmas mayhem with a haul so glorious it could make even the Grinch jealous. My bank account may be whispering “cease and desist,” but the holiday spirit said, “MORE. TATCHA.” Let’s be real, everyone knows I’m a Tatcha simp. I’d willingly pay rent to that dewy purple packaging if it meant eternal hydration. So what did Santa (aka me) bring this year? A feast of products that will make my vanity look like the skincare aisle at Sephora, only more luxurious and,
Category: Beauty
Susanne Kaufmann Rejuvenating Eye Cream: Because Spending $185 to Look Slightly Less Tired Is Totally Normal, Right?
So I shelled out for the Susanne Kaufmann Rejuvenating Eye Cream, hoping it would turn my under-eyes into the bright, smooth canvases of my pre-teen years—before the crushing weight of adult responsibilities and stress-induced scrolling gifted me with dark circles and fine lines. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. But let’s break it down. The Quick and Dirty Summary Packaging: Plastic pump top tube. Not cheap plastic, definitely won’t crack in your travel bag. Texture: Creamy. But sticky. Like Elmer’s glue before it dries. Smell: Smells like nothing. Expensive nothingness. Price: $185 per 15ml. WT actual F. Ingredients: Aqua(Water), Glycerin, Polyglyceryl-3 Polyricinoleate, Caprylyl Caprylate/caprate, Alcohol
My Beauty Haul: A Journey into Financial Recklessness and Moisturized Bliss
There comes a moment in every person’s life when they look at their bathroom shelves—crowded with half-used moisturizers, abandoned serums, and a dry shampoo that may or may not predate the pandemic—and think: What if I just bought more stuff? This is the story of that moment. And reader, I did not disappoint myself. I went on a beauty spree so excessive that it’s safe to say I’m now prepared for any scenario involving immaculate hair, flawless skin, and lips so hydrated they could host a pool party. Was it responsible? No. Was it fun? Oh, absolutely. So, grab a cup
Propylene Glycol: The Little Ingredient That Could (and Did, and Does, and Will)
Ah, propylene glycol. The silent hero of the cosmetics world, whispering sweet nothings to our dehydrated skin cells, making sure our mascara doesn’t look like a raccoon had a fight with a sprinkler system. This unassuming little compound is so omnipresent that it’s basically the Kevin Bacon of skincare. The cosmetics industry loves it. The skincare community pretends to understand it. And you? You’re probably slathering it on your face right now without even knowing it. Let’s take a moment to appreciate this tiny, unassuming molecular underdog. What Even Is Propylene Glycol? Picture a scientific lab, all bubbling beakers and slightly neurotic
Royal Fern Phytoactive Skin Perfecting Essence Review: A Love/Hate Relationship
Or: How I Spent $85 to Feel Like a Beautiful Houseplant If you’re looking for a product that will make you feel like you should be reclining on a chaise in a botanical garden, sipping a hibiscus-infused cocktail while someone fans you with a palm frond — the Royal Fern Phytoactive Skin Perfecting Essence is it. But if you’re looking for a product that makes sense to your bank account or your skincare routine, then perhaps proceed with caution. Let’s break this down with pros and cons, because apparently my life choices now include ranking how much skincare items confuse
Water in Cosmetics: The Truth Behind the World’s Most Basic Ingredient
Gather ‘round, beauty junkies, because today we’re talking about the unsung hero of cosmetics: water. That’s right, H2-freaking-O. You may think, “It’s just water, why are we having this conversation?” But oh, sweet summer child, water is the backbone of your skincare. It’s the Taylor Swift of ingredients, always there, always flawless, but never quite getting enough attention (okay, so maaaaybe Taylor Swift gets plenty of attention). Now, let’s dive into the tea (or, should I say, the water) on what it’s doing in your products and whether that’s good, bad, or ugly. Why Is There So Much Damn Water in My
Avene Micellar Lotion: Pros, Cons, and Confusion About What Micellar Water Actually Is
Look, we all want to believe in the magic of French skincare. Because when you think of French women, you think effortless beauty. You think glowing skin, chic fashion, and somehow making a baguette look like a healthy life choice. Enter Avene Micellar Lotion, which is supposed to be the key to unlocking that flawless, *je ne sais quoi* clean girl skin. But does it live up to the hype? Let’s just say I’d rather ruin my lipstick by eating more beets than waste money on this again. The Quick and Dirty Summary Packaging: Plastic with a flip top cap so
Cosmetic Ingredient: Cyclopentasiloxane
Cyclopentasiloxane? Sounds like a mouthful! Does it go by any other name? Yes! It is also referred to as decamethylcyclopentisiloxane. I bet you thought it’d be something simpler, eh? Never fear, it is also abbreviated to the humble “D5” thankfully. Cycloblaaaaaah–What is it? Cyclopentasiloxane is yet another version of silicone you can find floating around in skincare and haircare products and is part of the broader cyclomethicone category. Its main purposes are as an emollient, lubricant and a solvent. But what’s the main point of it being in skincare? Unfortunately, cyclopentasiloxane doesn’t have much benefit when it comes to the
First Aid Beauty – Pure Skin Face Cleanser
Before purchasing this facial cleanser, I had been battling with another face wash that I had been testing. I didn’t like that cleanser at all. It was composed of almost everything I avoid in a facial cleanser. As a result, First Aid Beauty has been a dream come true! I love the emollient texture and the fact that my skin does not feel stripped or raw after using it. Furthermore, this cleanser actually does a pretty decent job of removing makeup. Mind you, I *do* use a makeup remover prior to using a facial cleanser, but this stuff is usually
Trash Talk, August 2020 (Empties)
Yes, what you are seeing is my attempt at a YouTube video. If I get one like, I will consider it a tremendous success! For those who aren’t into YouTube, let me share the products with you below: Elta MD – UV Clear Broad Spectrum SPF 46 – Tinted I’ve already shared my thoughts on this kick ass SPF here. It’s a 10 – Shampoo, Deep Conditioner, and Oil Treatment The shampoo and conditioner definitely did their thing, but of the three, the oil treatment is the one that I might go back for. I only had sample packets and