If you’ve ever thought, Wow, I wish I could drink something that tastes like Hawaiian Punch but could legally power a lawnmower, then boy, do I have a drink for you. But first, let’s talk about Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop—because the history of this place is wilder than a Florida Man on meth riding an alligator.
Lafitte’s is allegedly the oldest bar in America, and it looks like it. The building is so old, it makes your grandma’s creaky knees look futuristic. Founded in the 1700s, it was supposedly a cover for Jean Lafitte—a pirate, smuggler, and general bad boy with a questionable moral compass. (Jean Lafitte: the original “I can fix him, no really I can” dude.) He supposedly ran a black-market operation here, hawking stolen goods and gunpowder under the guise of, I don’t know, hammering horseshoes? Whatever the case, it’s clear this guy was the Elon Musk of smuggling—except hotter and probably less insufferable.
Today, the building is a dive bar that feels like someone’s cool but haunted basement. It’s dark, cramped, and so steeped in history you can practically feel the ghosts judging you for ordering vodka instead of rum.
The Hurricane: A Tropical Death Sentence
Let’s get one thing straight: the hurricane is not here to be your friend. It’s here to obliterate you.
Served in a plastic cup you can take home (classy!), Lafitte’s hurricane is neon and unapologetically sweet. It tastes like someone spiked your childhood juice box with the kind of rum that makes you accidentally karaoke to a Spice Girls song. The pineapple and passionfruit flavors are bold, but so is the alcohol content—it’s the drink equivalent of being kissed by a parrot and then slapped by it immediately after.
Drinking this thing is an experience. First, you’re like, Ooh, fun! Tastes like candy! But halfway through, you realize your legs have started planning a mutiny. And then by the end, you’re wondering if Jean Lafitte’s ghost would judge you for stealing a tourist’s pretzel because you deserved it more.
My Official Judgment
Would a sophisticated cocktail connoisseur call the hurricane “good”? Absolutely not. But we’re not here for sophistication. We’re here to channel the energy of a rum-soaked pirate on shore leave, and this drink DELIVERS. It’s messy, chaotic, and a little bit dangerous—just like Lafitte’s itself.
Is it overpriced? Of course. Will you feel a little trashy drinking it? Absolutely. But will you love every second of it? If you’ve got a pirate’s heart (or a pirate nickname like Halfbottom), the answer is a resounding yo-ho-YES.
Pro tip: Bring a friend to share the hurricane or to carry your increasingly unhinged self out of the bar. Because once this drink hits, you’ll be two sheets to the wind and looking for a third.
