Lip balm is one of those things that should be simple. You just want something that keeps your lips from looking like a dried-up husk of a Victorian orphan, right? And yet, the market is rife with deception. Some balms pretend to be moisturizing but are secretly waxy little con artists. Some have the nerve to be sticky. Some smell like a Bath & Body Works exploded in 2007. Some—and this is unforgivable—require you to dig your fingers into a pot like some kind of feral beast.
Enter Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm, the latest inductee into my ever-expanding collection of lip products. I bought one. Then another. Then another. And now, like some kind of lip balm goblin, I own nearly every shade. Because, dear reader, this is not just a lip balm. This is an experience.
Things This Lip Balm Gets Right (A.K.A. Why This Lip Balm Ate My Paycheck)
1. It’s Actually Hydrating.
A shocking number of lip balms do not hydrate. Some, in fact, actively dry your lips out so you have to keep reapplying, like some kind of ChapStick Stockholm Syndrome. Not this one. It clings to your lips with the kind of loyalty usually reserved for golden retrievers. This balm is rich, buttery, and actually does its job. Revolutionary.
2. The Applicator Was Designed By Someone Who Cares About Us.
The slanted tip means you can apply it directly from the tube without looking like you smeared Crisco all over your face. This should be standard, but it’s not, because most beauty brands hate us.
3. It Smells Stupidly Good.
Vanilla, brown sugar, sweet mint—every scent is an absolute banger. None of that chemical nonsense. None of that fake fruit smell that reminds you of your middle school locker. Just pure, luxurious goodness.
4. It’s Thick But Not Sticky.
Some lip balms are so thin they vanish in five seconds. Others are so thick your lips feel like they’ve been shellacked. This one? Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
5. It’s Multipurpose.
You can use it as a regular balm, an overnight lip mask, or even dab a little on your cheeks for a dewy glow. Is it supposed to be a cheek product? No. But who’s gonna stop me?
The Cons (Because Nothing Is Perfect Except Cats And Carbohydrates)
1. “Tinted” My Ass.
The colors are all allegedly different, but once applied? They are all just slightly different flavors of “clear.” This is an elaborate scam and I am willingly participating in it.
2. It’s $24 for a Lip Balm.
If you think too hard about this, you might cry. But if you buy it, your lips will be too hydrated to frown. Capitalism wins again.
3. The Tube Sometimes Goes Rogue.
One squeeze too hard and bam, a $4 glob of luxury lip balm is spilling out uncontrollably like it’s trying to escape. You will then spend several minutes trying to shove it back in like an absolute fool.
4. It’s Too Good, So You Will Lose It Immediately.
Somewhere out there is a parallel universe filled with all the expensive lip balms I have ever lost. And yet, I will continue to repurchase.
Final Verdict: Just Join My Lip Butter Balm Party Already
Does this balm have flaws? Yes. Will that stop me from repurchasing it for the rest of my natural life? Absolutely not. It hydrates, it smells incredible, it makes my lips feel like they belong to a woman who has her life together. The only real downside is that once you buy one, you will inevitably end up buying more. And, honestly? That’s your problem now.
