Let’s all take a deep breath and collectively admit something: Disney lied to us. The Pinocchio we grew up with (the sweet little puppet who just wants to be a real boy, guided by a sassy moral compass in a top hat) is a deeply sanitized version of the absolute nightmare fuel that is Carlo Collodi’s original book. The OG Pinocchio isn’t a wholesome story about honesty and bravery. It’s a chaotic, occasionally homicidal morality play about a wooden demon-child who ruins everything he touches and a deeply exhausted craftsman who just wanted to make a puppet and ended up with a felony-level parenting problem. Geppetto: The World’s