Let’s all take a deep breath and collectively admit something: Disney lied to us. The Pinocchio we grew up with (the sweet little puppet who just wants to be a real boy, guided by a sassy moral compass in a top hat) is a deeply sanitized version of the absolute nightmare fuel that is Carlo Collodi’s original book. The OG Pinocchio isn’t a wholesome story about honesty and bravery. It’s a chaotic, occasionally homicidal morality play about a wooden demon-child who ruins everything he touches and a deeply exhausted craftsman who just wanted to make a puppet and ended up with a felony-level parenting problem. Geppetto: The World’s
Tag: disney
Loaded Baked Potato Soup: A Long-Winded Love Letter to… a Microwave?
Let me tell you about the time I spent an hour and a half making something that tasted like a baked potato… in witness protection. This is a story of betrayal. Of high hopes and creamy promises. Of bacon grease and different kinds of potatoes that conspired to whisper, “You could’ve just used the microwave.“ The Soup That Lied to Me Look, I’m not here to slander soup. I love soup. Soup is cozy. Soup is healing. Soup is what I make when my mental health is in the “let’s chop vegetables to feel something” stage. But this soup? This soup
I Made Walt Disney’s Favorite Chili — And It Was Mid
I’m not saying Uncle Walt didn’t know his way around a good story or a charming mouse in red shorts, but when it came to chili… the man may have been coasting on nostalgia. According to The Official Disney Parks Cookbook by Pam Brandon and the “Disney Chefs”, this recipe—now served at the Carnation Café on Main Street, U.S.A.—was Walt’s favorite meal. And I mean, cute! Historic! Culinary Disneyland lore! Of course I had to make it. I just wish the results lived up to the legacy. Let’s Talk Ingredients First off, this recipe is trying to do a lot. You’ve got two
Disney Princess Swatches of the Summer Friday Lip Butter Balms
Listen, there are things in life that require careful consideration, meticulous analysis, and in-depth research. Things like who let the dogs out, why don’t we just eat the rich, and how many Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balms does one person need before it becomes a problem. I cannot answer the first two questions (though I have theories). But I can say that when it comes to Summer Fridays’ balms, the answer is somewhere between “just one more” and “help, my bag is mostly lip products now.” If you have never tried these little tubes of joy, let me enlighten you: they are soft, plushy, hydrating,