Listen. I don’t know how other people do it. Other people—mystical, ethereal people—somehow manage to emerge from an eight-hour workday looking even better than when they left their house. They stroll into an evening event with their makeup miraculously intact, as if they were born with perfectly smoked-out eyeshadow and a seductive glow. Meanwhile, I catch my reflection at 6 PM and discover that my mascara has given up, my foundation has settled into a series of tiny trenches across my face, and my lipstick has migrated everywhere except my lips. So, I have consulted The Internet to figure out how the hell one is actually supposed