Let’s set the scene: you’re in Paris. Your luggage is lost, your skin is breaking out from plane air and emotional trauma, and your Google Translate app is hanging on by a thread. You stumble into a French pharmacy hoping to find something to salvage your face—and there it is. Shelf after shelf of white-and-orange packaging. Nothing flashy. No cutesy names. No marketing copy trying to gaslight you into glowing. Just one name, repeated like a prayer: Avène. So… what is Avène? Is it a brand? A spring? A lifestyle? Why does every French person trust it like it paid their rent during
Tag: skincare
Pentylene Glycol PEG-6 Caprylic/Capric Glycerides: What the Hell Is This, and Should You Be Smearing It on Your Face?
Listen. I get it. You’re trying to be an informed, responsible consumer, but cosmetic ingredient lists read like a Mad Libs page designed by a drunk scientist. Somewhere between “Butyrospermum Parkii Butter” (which, despite its aggressively medical name, is just shea butter) and “Tromethamine” (sounds like a failed 2000s pop punk band), you encounter Pentylene Glycol PEG-6 Caprylic/Capric Glycerides—and your brain promptly leaves the chat. So what is this multi-hyphenate monstrosity? Should you avoid it? Is it a scam? Should you tattoo its chemical structure on your forearm in a desperate bid to appear both intelligent and effortlessly cool? Don’t worry,
Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm: My Lips Are Thriving, My Wallet Is Weeping
Lip balm is one of those things that should be simple. You just want something that keeps your lips from looking like a dried-up husk of a Victorian orphan, right? And yet, the market is rife with deception. Some balms pretend to be moisturizing but are secretly waxy little con artists. Some have the nerve to be sticky. Some smell like a Bath & Body Works exploded in 2007. Some (and this is unforgivable) require you to dig your fingers into a pot like some kind of feral beast. Enter Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm, the latest inductee into my ever-expanding collection of lip products. I bought one. Then
Susanne Kaufmann Rejuvenating Eye Cream: Because Spending $185 to Look Slightly Less Tired Is Totally Normal, Right?
So I shelled out for the Susanne Kaufmann Rejuvenating Eye Cream, hoping it would turn my under-eyes into the bright, smooth canvases of my pre-teen years—before the crushing weight of adult responsibilities and stress-induced scrolling gifted me with dark circles and fine lines. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. But let’s break it down. The Quick and Dirty Summary Packaging: Plastic pump top tube. Not cheap plastic, definitely won’t crack in your travel bag. Texture: Creamy. But sticky. Like Elmer’s glue before it dries. Smell: Smells like nothing. Expensive nothingness. Price: $185 per 15ml. WT actual F. Ingredients: Aqua(Water), Glycerin, Polyglyceryl-3 Polyricinoleate, Caprylyl Caprylate/caprate, Alcohol
Royal Fern Phytoactive Skin Perfecting Essence Review: A Love/Hate Relationship
Or: How I Spent $85 to Feel Like a Beautiful Houseplant If you’re looking for a product that will make you feel like you should be reclining on a chaise in a botanical garden, sipping a hibiscus-infused cocktail while someone fans you with a palm frond — the Royal Fern Phytoactive Skin Perfecting Essence is it. But if you’re looking for a product that makes sense to your bank account or your skincare routine, then perhaps proceed with caution. Let’s break this down with pros and cons, because apparently my life choices now include ranking how much skincare items confuse
Water in Cosmetics: The Truth Behind the World’s Most Basic Ingredient
Gather ‘round, beauty junkies, because today we’re talking about the unsung hero of cosmetics: water. That’s right, H2-freaking-O. You may think, “It’s just water, why are we having this conversation?” But oh, sweet summer child, water is the backbone of your skincare. It’s the Taylor Swift of ingredients, always there, always flawless, but never quite getting enough attention (okay, so maaaaybe Taylor Swift gets plenty of attention). Now, let’s dive into the tea (or, should I say, the water) on what it’s doing in your products and whether that’s good, bad, or ugly. Why Is There So Much Damn Water in My
Avene Micellar Lotion: Pros, Cons, and Confusion About What Micellar Water Actually Is
Look, we all want to believe in the magic of French skincare. Because when you think of French women, you think effortless beauty. You think glowing skin, chic fashion, and somehow making a baguette look like a healthy life choice. Enter Avene Micellar Lotion, which is supposed to be the key to unlocking that flawless, *je ne sais quoi* clean girl skin. But does it live up to the hype? Let’s just say I’d rather ruin my lipstick by eating more beets than waste money on this again. The Quick and Dirty Summary Packaging: Plastic with a flip top cap so
First Aid Beauty – Pure Skin Face Cleanser
Before purchasing this facial cleanser, I had been battling with another face wash that I had been testing. I didn’t like that cleanser at all. It was composed of almost everything I avoid in a facial cleanser. As a result, First Aid Beauty has been a dream come true! I love the emollient texture and the fact that my skin does not feel stripped or raw after using it. Furthermore, this cleanser actually does a pretty decent job of removing makeup. Mind you, I *do* use a makeup remover prior to using a facial cleanser, but this stuff is usually
Trash Talk, August 2020 (Empties)
Yes, what you are seeing is my attempt at a YouTube video. If I get one like, I will consider it a tremendous success! For those who aren’t into YouTube, let me share the products with you below: Elta MD – UV Clear Broad Spectrum SPF 46 – Tinted I’ve already shared my thoughts on this kick ass SPF here. It’s a 10 – Shampoo, Deep Conditioner, and Oil Treatment The shampoo and conditioner definitely did their thing, but of the three, the oil treatment is the one that I might go back for. I only had sample packets and
Finchberry Soapery – Sweet Dreams
This has got to be the most fancily packaged soap I’ve ever had in my vicinity. Suffice to say, this was gifted to me and what a wonderful little gift it was! Doesn’t the package scream “CUTE”? I held on to this longer than necessary because sometimes just looking at it gave me a happy little thrill. Talk about being a sucker for packaging! When you pull the soap out of the ridiculously adorable packaging, you find a sophisticated bar of soap that is mostly classy but is just girlish enough to add glitter on the top. YES, GLITTER. Granted,