Remember when everyone was complaining that January 2020 had 472 days in it? You know what’s even longer. March 2020. This month has been a wreck for me (and everyone).
Yes, quarantine and fights over toilet paper have added to my stress. The reality is though, that March stunk from the get-go for me. Let me give you a list:
- A student accidentally slammed the back of their head into my face. I went home with a mild concussion and a desire to sleep forever. I didn’t.
- A week after that, a child bit me. Bit me hard enough to draw blood and leave a puncture wound. Luckily, I had a tetanus shot in November so all I had to worry about was a wicked bruise and filling out yet another incident report for the school.
- Quarantine happened. Which is fine, but even though the little tykes battered me pre-pandemic, I still miss them.
- My fiancé was able to get generic laundry detergent. Turns out I’m stupidly allergic to generic laundry detergent. My body was a full on itch-til-I-bleed rash. Thankfully, Walgreens had Tide.
- Day seven of the quarantine, I must have lost my wits. I used a paring knife to cut a bagel (yes, I know. I’m stoooopid) and the blade gouged me in my palm. Tons of blood, a trashed towel, and three stitches later, I’m recovering nicely. The urgent care staff seemed way too excited when I showed up… Like they were totally over dealing with people who were scared that they had gotten coronavirus. But stitches?! YAS.
Please, tell me that my bad karma is over and the injuries will stop. I’m starting to become a regular at urgent care. For real though, whoever has my voodoo doll, go easy will you? And as far as March goes? It can go screw itself.
OMG!! I hope things start looking up for you guys!
I have similar sensitivities to generic laundry soap.
My fiancé says my skin is too sensitive. He may have a point. Lol
It’s getting better. I’m finally adapting to quarantine so that helps!
OMG, why did that little punk bite you? What’s wrong with them?
And the full body rash… oh no!
And the kitchen accident and the stitches?
All of this sounds awful. I hope you’re better now. xoxo
But I do think you missed a glorious opportunity to tell your soon-to-be-husband that you’re a spy, and that your injuries and rashes are part of the fights and torture you have to endure while you keep the country safe.
I DO HOPE that you won’t get bitten by a kid again, and that you won’t have to suffer through allergic reactions and that you won’t get hurt in the kitchen, etc.
But… if you practice a spy speech, you could pull it off next time you injure yourself (although I hope for a fake injury with ketchup for blood…).
I once tried it with my husband. He didn’t believe it for one second, but he gave me props for telling him in the shower “so they can’t hear us because the house is bugged”.
I really do hope you’re better. Sending hugs and meows!
The bite was a communication problem. It was their way of telling me “no.” Haaa!
I LOVE THE SPY STORY! The shower is the perfect touch. Gosh, you make me actually laugh out loud!
Girl, this year is out to get you. March was a b*tch to me too, but at least there was no blood involved. I went through it with lots of wine and trash TV – I recommend.