We were in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware when one of those damn carnival games lured in my significant other. It was the one where you shoot water into a clown’s mouth and whoever gets the most in wins.
He always wants to play it because he never loses. NEVER. And lo and behold he won! And thus started a journey with a sloth that he promptly named Floofy (I’ve banned him from ever naming our pets.)
Upon winning, the kid next to us barely lost and I overheard his father telling him he did a great job. I told my significant other that he should give the monkey to the kid. My adorable guy said the kid didn’t want the animal, the kid had wanted to WIN and the stuffed animal was an afterthought. Besides, he won it for ME, how could he give it away? Oh joy. As a result, I got to carry this thing around until we made it to the hotel. I was so (not) grateful!
We were packing up to travel to New York City and I saw him stuffing Floofy into his carry-on bag. “What are you doing?!” I asked in a very alarmed manner.
“Honey, I won him for you.”
“But I don’t want him.”
“But I won him for you.”
Thus we drove several hours with Floofy in the backseat of our rental car. GAH.
***
We spent our three days in New York and as we were packing up, my boyfriend bemoaned the lack of space in his luggage.
I asked him how he ran out of room and then see Floofy sticking out of his bag, arms splayed and head crammed in.
“Uh, maybe you should get rid of the sloth, since, uhhh, I never actually wanted it.”
At which point I got a rant on how we shouldn’t abandon the damn monkey in the middle of New York City. I had to remind him that it wasn’t alive and he had to remind me that he won it for me. However, I saw him struggling to fit all of his Starbucks “Been There” coffee cups into his bag and crossed my fingers with the hope that the sloth would get left behind. We caught a train to Boston.
***
In Boston, staying with my aunt and uncle I was shocked and alarmed that the sloth had maintained his presence somehow. I begged my boyfriend to give it to my relatives’ dog, Penny. Wouldn’t she love to have a toy?
And do you know what he said. Guess. Just guess.
But I won it for YOU.
I lost my mind you guys. I was as irrational as those girls who freak out if their man is wearing gym shoes when he’s not exercising. I told him he actually won it for himself if only to prove he could still win the game.
But he won it for me. He had to show off for me. Couldn’t I understand?
***
We managed to make it back home, flying out of Boston. I was certain there was no room for Floofy. Alas, I was wrong. I came home from a loooong day of work to find Floofy on top of my toilet tank. I question whether I should discuss this with the man in my life but I already know the answer. And Lord knows if I let it, we will get into a discussion about Floofy’s habits and why my bathroom is the best place for him. Sigh. He won it for me. And I guess if Floofy wants to spend eternity watching me do my business, then he should go on living his best (but perverted) life.
Hahaha I loved reading this and ah! I guess you just have to accept Floofy into your life!
You know, sometimes you can’t always get what you want. And sometimes you get things that you REALLY don’t want! Lol
Lol thanks for the giggle. Maybe Floofy can disappear after a while
Oh, I am ALREADY scheming his disappearance. It’ll be like magic when it happens–Now you see him… Now you don’t!
Heehee can’t wait to hear about the big caper🤣
It’s going to be the most epic disappearance!
Heehee. I think I can picture you plotting his demise
I once made a homemade bottle rocket with a plastic water bottle and a sparkler. I taped it to a stuffed animal of Shrek and Ka-Boom!
Much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I could actually do that to Floofy. I think I might have matured (ACK!) aaaand maybe I could convince the man to give him up to charity.
Well start working on him for Christmas donation. He’d make some little kid so happy and he could give you a great Christmas present to replace it🤣
YASSS. That is definitely the line I’ll take!
This is hilarious!! I’ve had a few of those moments. I usually let whatever it is sit around for a bit then sneak it out to be donated. 🤣
I’m thinking that’s the best solution to this mess. Floofy, your time is LIMITED.
Why do men think woman want stuffed animals? hahahaha
I don’t know. I think its more of a trophy for him. Like he won the game!
Buuuuut, his trophy can NOT linger in my bathroom. It just can’t.
I think Floofy is cute! But I’m not sure your man found the right place for him…
Maybe you can take Floofy to work. I’m sure one of the kids will be happy to have him. 😉
That is an excellent suggestion! They would definitely appreciate him more than me!