Yesterday I went to my very first hockey game. It was the Seattle Thunderbirds and they were going up against a team from Portland. I’d watched a few NHL games on television and figured it’d be a good fit for me since I’m pretty barbaric. I mean, my fiancé and I shared our first kiss at a bar while watching Floyd Mayweather teach Conor McGregor a thing or two about boxing. I wouldn’t be surprised if my ancestors were amongst the spectators at the Coliseum, giving a giant hurrah everytime blood spilled.
So you’d think grown men with hockey sticks and a tendency toward temper tantrums would be a good fit for me, yes?
God, no.
I had no idea that hockey players were so baby-faced. Every time they threw their hockey sticks down and tried to start a fight all I could think was that they were angry that the school bully tried to steal their lunch money. Or maybe they were mad that their mom forgot to pack their favorite granola bar.
And the crowd would react like there was a serious fight going down. I must be desensitized because I prefer watching UFC if I’m looking for a fight. I told you. I’m barbaric.
Add to that the fandom. No, I’m not talking about the people fans, I’m talking about the paper fans. You see, they left thick cardstock like paper on all the seats that you could fold into fans. Then everyone would thwap them all at once to create a sound of thunder. You know, for the thunderbirds.
Except the guy behind me kept thwapping his fan so damn loudly. On the back of my chair. It was headache inducing. Even my fiancé was getting the prickles from listening to this loud AF fan going on behind our heads. He kept thwapping it even when no one else in the stadium was doing it. It was constant, incessant and migraine inducing. And I was already sick. I wanted to scream, blow my nose, then fall asleep, wake up and cough all over the thwapping idiot’s face. All of which was in my power to do (I didn’t though).
Plus, my team was losing and it sucks to suck. Suffice to say, this will probably be the last time I’m invited to a hockey game. I think in future I’ll stick to watching UFC fighters while snogging my guy in bars, because you know, it’s what they did in Roman times or something.
Oh my goodness! I think I would have had to take his paper and made thunder sounds on his face! How annoying!
It was a LOT. I tried to tell myself it was just an overexcited fan but…. He was killing my vibe.
They should have complementary noise cancelling headphones at sport events. Or charge people an extra fee based on the amount of decibels they produce. ‘Cause God knows a simple “Shhhh” won’t suffice.
Oh my god, that’s brilliant. I’m brining ear plugs next time!