When the “Stay Home, Stay Healthy” mandate hit Washington, I was bummed. Not least of which was because that meant not being able to see the kiddos at my job.
But there was a part of me that really believed I was *made* for quarantine. I’m a consummate introvert. People exhaust me. Working in my pajamas is something that appeals to me. Intersperse this with occasional episodes of I Love Lucy and Law and Order:SVU and you’ve got my personal version of paradise.
It did start well enough. I’d read other’s quarantine experiences and their death spiral through the kitchen as they’d eat their ninth meal of the day by noon. I didn’t have that problem, I was finding it hard to even remember to eat. By the end of two weeks in self-isolation I had lost almost ten pounds. I figured my whole routine had been upended so I needed to make a schedule that included meals. Sound silly? Because it sounds ridiculous to me, a consummate lover of food, and yet there it is.
Then came the sleeping. Oh my Gaaaah, the SLEEPING. I can’t stop. It’s all the time. I think, “man, listening to that Taylor Swift album made me tired”, or, “I need a nap after that twenty minute zoom meeting”. All I do is sleep. I can’t get enough. It’s bothering me. Some people might say I’m winning at quarantine but my fiancé put it better:
“You know babe, a lack of appetite and fatigue are signs of depression.”
He was right. I am in the beginning stages of serious depression.
So instead of sitting back and taking it like a chump, I went into overdrive. Anything to fight the onset of a mental disease that could easily become the mother of all downhills. I turned to YouTube exercise videos. I ate chocolate. I pinned my hair up in it’s weirdest style yet just to see if I looked good with bangs, because bangs might be new and exciting! Thank god it was at this point that I realized I was looking at the edge of insanity and took a step back. Think about it, I could’ve gone for the scissors.
Rather, I took a deep breath.
It’s okay to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed as hell. I miss my people. I want to see them again if only so I can remember why I was so introverted in the first place because this whole quarantine situation is exhausting the crap out of me. I want to go back to a time of normalcy. But in the meantime, I’ll keep taking deep breaths and keep the scissors out of reach from my hair.
Stay healthy, stay well.
Makeup
- Maybelline New York – Expertwear Eyeliner in “Chestnut Brown”
- Too Faced – Shadow Insurance Primer
- Jane Iredale – Eyeshadow Duo in “Supernova/Oyster”
- Urban Decay – Matte Eyeshadow in “Relish”
- Too Faced – Natural Eyes Palette (“Push Up” and “Silk Teddy”)
- Clinique – Lash Building Primer
- BareMinerals – Lash Domination Volumizing Mascara in “Intense Black”
- Cargo – Blush in “Catalina”
- Paula’s Choice – Lip & Body Treatment Balm
- NARS – Lipstick in “Dolce Vita”
- BareMinerals – Marvelous Moxie Lipgloss in “Life of the Party”
I’ve battled depression for years and lately I can feel myself wanting to fall back into the darkness. We’ll get through this! Sending virtual hugs!
Thank you so much! It’s a slippery slope. I think awareness of it is huge! I’ve been getting back to exercise and making sure outside time is part of my schedule!
One thing about you is that I’m sure you’re pretty self entertained!
When you’re half insane, entertainment comes easy! 🤣
Tis true.
Can’t deny it!
This might interest you – https://thelifestyleleader.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/5-things-you-must-do-during-a-lockdown/
You’re right, it was helpful 🙂
Particularly the making the schedule and feeling grateful! I’ve really forgotten about gratitude in this time and I really have a lot to be thankful for!
I am glad you found the post helpful 🙂
Yes, most of us have a lot to be grateful about!
Keep in touch. Take care.
I really did find it helpful!
I am glad you found the post helpul.
Yes, most of us have a lot to be grateful about!
Keep in touch and take care 🙂
Gratitude for what I have has been key to getting through this.
I think I left the house 5 times in total in April. It was bad. I DO like working from home. I used to run a small business a while ago, and back then I worked from home for more than 3 years. But the quarantine is taking a toll on me too. When I went to the dentist 2 weeks ago, I swung by my workplace after. OMG, there were 6 out of just over 100 people = our critical team, and they were all incredibly happy to see me. And I was actually happy to see them. We were honestly interested in how we’re doing. This was when I realised that something was wrong. I was working from home, saying that I could do this forever, and I felt happy that I didn’t have to see and deal with all the noisy people in the office. But hey, turns out that I really missed being around people. Believe it or not, but I am actually looking forward to going back to the dentist in 2 weeks, and I will swing by the office again!
Isn’t that the way of things? I loved the idea of working from home, but then being told I can’t see the people I really love working with is secretly killing me. I almost enjoy the zoom staff meetings just because I get to see them! But I need an old fashioned friendly chat to really enjoy it. I at least call them now regularly just to stay in touch!
I took a break from the blogosphere during this quarantine and have just been catching up with everyone’s posts. Hope you are feeling better! Goddamn pandemic. I was on a slump for a while due to our wedding being postponed. I gained 10 pounds however, but it’s hard to forget to eat when you stock up on Doritos and ice cream.
I’m getting back in the game. Between the pandemic, a new job, starting school and going forward with a small backyard wedding you could say I feel very overwhelmed! Mostly good things now thank god!
So good to hear!! Congrats on the new job! We’re in so similar life stages, I totally understand you – I just happen to have postponed my wedding until the next year and I’m on break from my post graduate program, hence the time (and mental space) to return to the blogosphere. Welcome back 😉
We totally are in the same life stage aren’t we? I think that is so cool!
My fiancé decided he didn’t want to wait to spend the rest of our lives together… so full speed ahead! 🤣
Honestly, the break has been needed. The mental health in these times is so freaking fragile!