My life has had a revolution. I joined a Barre class. Like I’m doing something healthy on purpose. I’m pretty sure aliens have hijacked my body and are now submitting me to torturous experiments just for funsies. Either that or my cousin successfully conned me into an exercise class for the second time. She has mind powers. She must be an alien.
“It’s totally easy! Like sneaky easy! You’ll think you can totally do everything but when you leave you can tell your muscles are sore!”
Pardon my French, but that $hit was in no way shape or form “Easy”. It was an hour long class you guys. At one point I had an out of body experience that surely indicated I was dying. I looked at my watch to realize we were only thirteen minutes in.
At eighteen minutes, the instructor did some impossible balancing act of holding one leg behind her while doing squats on the other leg and lifting weights above her head. When she told everyone she believed we could all do this I may have verbally said “NO!” I’m not a cyborg. I’m clumsy, and that was not happening.
At 29 minutes, I barfed in my mouth and swallowed it.
At 37 minutes, I walked out claiming I needed to use the bathroom. Four other grateful souls who had been looking for their “out” followed me, while three other non-cyborgs claimed they needed to “refill their water”.
At 45 minutes I re-enter and kill the butt exercises. I don’t really have any gluteus Maximus so it’s hard to feel pain where nothing exists.
At 58 minutes, the instructor confesses she knew she “made a mistake” because she herself wanted to die midway through the class. My cousin apologized profusely saying for some reason, this particular class was murderous but it’ll be so much more different the next time!
You know what the sadistic part of this is? I signed up for five more classes. If this blog suddenly stops you will know what happened. Barre class killed me.
On a funnier note, my boyfriend was telling me how great it was I joined Barre class since exercise has the domino effect of making you want to eat healthier too. I decided not to tell him that upon coming home I immediately ate two Lindt truffles. I’m always a work in progress.
OMG Barre is rough! Ive personally only went to one class, then immediately joined the ymca – Id rather do zumba! LOL
It was definitely a rough workout. I’m hoping future classes won’t be so heinous since the instructor confessed to being a little over the top that day. God help me if it’s not.
Although I’ve never taken barre I’m familiar and took this post as a sign to join . Now I’m scared. Was this for beginners?
This was actually for all levels. The instructors provided several different ways to modify exercises for beginners which was useful. I think my main problem was trying to keep up with people who had been doing it forever. I’ve decided that I need to view it as a journey instead of pushing myself so hard.
And honestly, from the sounds of it, the class I went to was abnormally hard. I have another class on Monday, and I’ll try to post about that.
That’s awesome though that you are joining a barre class! We can be support buddies 🙂
Ahhh that makes sense I tend to do the same. So I definitely will keep that in mind when I take my first class. I definitely will be following your barre journey and living through you till I start my own.😄
Fingers crossed that my next barre class isn’t too deep into the nightmare territory! 😂
You’ve totally gotta let me know when you start!
I heard of it but never tried it out..Sounds scary! LOL
Ha, well I signed up for more classes so I guess I believe I’ll survive the next few rounds! Lol
I’m reading these barre posts in backwards order, but I’m dying. 😂
Lol, exercising is when I’m most likely to be a spaz!
LOL, Kristen, you crack me up!! I am so glad I took the time out to catch up on your blog. Every single sentence made me laugh. Did the instructor really say she made a mistake? Your cousin & I both KNOW all of the classes are murderous like that, they just get easier when you continue doing them. GO YOU for pushing through, even with a small “bathroom break” & signing up for even more classes!!
The instructor saying she made a mistake actually happened. You should’ve seen her face when I showed up for a second class. She couldn’t believe that a newbie like me would come back after the hell she put the class through the previous week!
I will say, I’ve now been doing the classes for almost two months and I think they’re a *little* less torturous though I still die a little inside every time I pick up some weights.
And thank you! I don’t mind giving myself a pat on the back for returning to the class!
LOL aw, well way to prove her wrong!! & wow, two months is really something to be proud of. It was easy, you wouldn’t be getting anything done, right? 😉
We have a saying that if you are not sore the next day, you didn’t try hard enough!
It’s not easy but I’m glad I got myself into it. I even have a few accountability partners that go with me so I’m definitely trapped into this healthy habit for the time being!